Often couples find themselves debating over whether they want to stay or leave. The reason are contextual and all of them would have many personal reasons for being in this confused state. There are a few researches that say that married and dating couples both gave similar answers when asked why they wanted to break up or stay in the relationship.
Why Married And Dating Couples End Up in This Confused State?
There is no one apparent reason. There can be multiple reasons for why one partner might start feeling like they want to leave. However, the prevalent cases are the ones where the person feels confused about whether they should stay or leave. This inability to decide is described as painful because the partner continuously feels as if he/she is betraying the other. However, if you feel this way about your partner, we have some suggestions for you.
Since there can be multiple reasons why a partner starts feeling this way, they can either be positive or negative. Sometimes the reasons for staying are negative and the reasons for leaving are positive. However, it can be the other way round as well. These suggestions should help you decide which one, staying or leaving, would be the right decision.
Most people end up feeling this way because they lose their own identities in a relationship. This results in them losing track of their core values. Both the partners become so interlinked with each other that they become a third person in the relationship. This is because they don’t know what they want for themselves or have started to ignore what they want. This is why they snap sometimes and want to leave because they want to stop giving. However, it is more desirable to go back and start analyzing your core values. Decide what kind of a relationship you want and what do you need from your partner. If you don’t know what you want, then you’re doing nothing but projecting your emotional instability onto your partner. Once you have reanalyzed your own self, you will know what to do.
Analyze Your Reasons
If you can’t decide if you should break up or not, then it would be better to start analyzing why you want to break up. The best thing to do is to communicate them with your partner. Once you’ve communicated, you might begin to realize that they’re not big enough reason or even if they are, something can be done about them. You can start working on the challenges and improve yourself and your partner as well.
Talk to Your Partner About It
If you’re at the verge of breaking up but there’s a small part of your brain telling you to reconsider then all you need to do is sit down with your partner and talk to them about your concerns and whatever there is that makes you feel doubtful and start the recovery journey.
Break ups are indeed hard to handle especially those that happen in a rough way. It won’t be wrong to say that we’re in our most vulnerable state after a break up. If you know you’re going be feel very emotionally vulnerable, then I would advise that you keep your friends and family involved. Since you’re going to make a bad decision and will need people to stop you from going through with it.
There are questions that you need to make yourself go through after the break up. What was the cause? Was it coming from a long time or did things just snap due to one issue? Was it a long-term serious relationship or was it just one of those timely flings? Were you dumped or were you the one who dumped?
Whatever the answers to these questions may be, break ups need to be carefully handled. There are some ways to handle a break up gracefully and they have been listed below.
Do NOT Make a Scene!
Keep your anger to minimum as it’s not going to do you any good. Feeling distraught and torn apart is fine and expressing that pain is also fine. But expressing your anger by throwing tantrums is just going to make you look stupid. This becomes a rule if you’re doing it in public. Do not wreck their car or do anything else of sort since that’s just going to make things worse. Control your anger or the time being and once you’re back home, break some glass and be done with it.
Do Not Try to Be Extra Sweet While You’re Doing It, It Can Backfire
Some people get all compassionate when they’re breaking and decide to be nice to them after all the time that they’ve spent in a relationship with them. Once your relationship is wrecked, the other person’s emotions are no longer your concern. And don’t just forget why you were doing it in the first place all of a sudden and go all gooey for them while you’re doing it. It will make it harder on them too. Just go forward and give them a hug after you’re done. Only because it will make them feel better but don’t go out of your way.
Cut Off With Them Until You’re Completely Over It
Of course you’re going to miss them but that doesn’t mean you should try to stay friends with them. It will only make it harder since you will both be stuck on pulling the last strings. There is nothing that can be done and staying in contact will make things more complicated than they already are. If you want to be get emotionally stable than you have to take this last step and delete their number. You will be glad you did it.
Last but not the least: talk to someone about it. It will definitely help if you keep your best friend and your family members involved.
Often people find themselves caught up between their dreams and their love life. If the dream is to travel the world then you’re doomed to feel this way once in your life.
A Tough Decision
If you’ve always dreamed of travelling to every place in the world then you will find yourself coming face to face with your partner. Most times, people sacrifice their dreams for their partners but you’re not one of them if you’re already on this article. So let’s move on from that and get to the discussion of whether you should break up or not.
Breaking Up With Your Partner to Travel: Pros And Cons
If you’re buying on way ticket to a far off place such as Asia or even Europe then you should definitely stop kidding yourself now. If you’re going then it’s very unlikely that you will come back. Making promises with yourself or your partner is only going to make things worse for yourself and your partner. Instead of keeping them in the dark about whether you will come back or not and breaking up from miles away, it is better that you break up in a proper way and let them know why you’re doing it.
However, if you are still stuck up on whether you should break up with your partner or not, then you need to consider all these questions and preferably ask yourself too.
Why Isn’t Your Partner Coming Along?
This is important to ask because if the only reason why you’re going alone is because you want to and you didn’t invite them in the first place then you shouldn’t even be here since you’re already so clear about what you want from life. But if they’re not coming because of other reasons then you must do what you need to do. Reasons such as obligations. But you know better than that since you’re also fighting all those obligations and understand what will be lost in the process. So if they’re not able to fight their obligations then you’re both probably not compatible enough.
You Both Have Different Life Priorities
Only way to find that out is by asking them to travel with you. Your priority in life is your dreams but if they’re not willing not give up everything to travel the world then it’s because you both don’t share these dreams. Some couples are supportive of each other’s dreams even if they don’t share them. If you feel you have a permanent connection with your partner and travelling away from them won’t change anything, then you won’t even be reading this article. Who are you kidding?
If the only reason that you want to give up on your dreams is because you feel scared about never finding love again, then that’s entirely wrong. You’ll fall in love again because you will be more capable of loving someone once you’ve achieved your dreams and feel completely satisfied.